timetable for tomorrow :

1000 hrs - wake up
1030 hrs - do a few push ups (see a chinese doctor later if my hand still hurts)
1100 hrs - leave the house and head to the west
1105 hrs - call zh and sk
1200 hrs - meet sk to pass her my mp3 player if possible and zh for lunch
1230 hrs - meet phil to buy stuff
1300 hrs - meet the other guys
1330 hrs - buy the other stuff which i need for army
1430 hrs - have fun in town one last time
1430 onwards free and easy


so cool timetabling my whole day, then ill have to stick to it like im in the army. i've decided to revive this blog again, it'll be useful in storing my thoughts and memories throughout NS life.

she's the one that keeps the dream alive
from the morning
past the evening
till the end of the light!





yeah sorry i hate short posts too
so i promise to post properly soon?
lol

so many mistakes i make repeatedly despite telling myself not to commit them again

self conducted tour of smu yesterday was pretty fun. i guess its not a bad place to spend the last days of my academic life. the school is really very different, i've been to nus a few times already and i cant help but note that the two uni's are really very different from each other. its pretty hard to describe, i get a whole different feeling when im in smu. it almost feels like ac :)

in other news, im still real sad over my results, and my emo-ness over that is slowly infiltrating into other parts of my life. people have noticed and told me to fcuk off cause i didnt do that badly, but i didnt expect them to understand anyways so i dont care. ok nothing much else already, haha i've got a sore throat and a cold so im wondering if i should go for mambo tonight. i think i should though it'll cheer me up.

random advert : will be in acjc on friday, anyone interested to go?


emo emo get over it soon

:(

AAB B3. If you have been following my previous posts, then you'd know I am obviously disappointed with my results. I was so close yet so far. Yes, this bloody phrase again, "so close yet so far". My entire life has been a case of so close yet so far. I have been so close yet so far in so many situations they are now countless. I hate being almost there.

Another huge reason for my disappointment is that the B was for math. Of all the subjects that I had to get a B for, it had to be the one which I was positive that I would get an A in... If the B was in physics or chemistry maybe I would have took it better cause I would have been better prepared for that outcome. I was half expecting my physics to be a B anyways. It was probably careless mistakes that screwed me in the math paper. Its like a bloody joke huh...

Some people were telling me that my results were still good. To me, it doesnt really matter how good it is if it isnt as good as I wanted it to be. I wasnt on stage, I wasnt good enough. Its all about the targets that we set for ourselves, if I wanted to get 3B's and I received my current result, of course I'd be pleased. But I had aimed for a result which I failed to attain.

I know that some people are pissed at the way that I'm so sad even though I still did reasonably well. But please, understand that those were the results that I had been aiming for since the start of JC. And also, I think that for A levels, "doing well" is defined based on your personal target, as well as your course of choice. If your results are good enough to secure you a place in the course, you have done well. And I don't even know if I'll be able to secure that law interview with my current results. The B3 for gp was almost as disappointing as the B for math, its going to kill me later on in my life. It'll be a mistake that'll haunt me forever.

So my dreams of returning on founders day to receive my award will never come true. Just like the many other dreams and aspirations I've had but failed to achieve. I had always secretly wanted my parents to watch me receive my scholastic merit award on founders day, but now they never will. The last time they saw me receive an academic award, I was in primary 5. LOL. Now I don't know if they'll even get to see me receive an academic award again.

I'm slowly getting over it. I'm a little less angry with myself now than I was 2 days ago when I received my results. Maybe in a year or so I'll be able to put this behind me. I'm not joking, cause I know that at next years founders day, when a quarter of my cohort returns to receive their awards, Ill be in some army camp somewhere, feeling like shit and being unable to do anything about it. Whatever it is, I just know I won't get over this fast.

Like ZH says, life sucks.

12 more hours

it'll be the final gathering for the class of 06 in about 12 hours time. so sad, i probably wont see some of my school mates for the rest of my life.

i need to take it easy later, because i know i wont accept anything other than what i had set out to achieve. im still hoping the outcome is what i've been dreaming it to be, i dont know how im going to take it if isnt.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I CANT WAIT

Mmmmm so like as x pointed out to be just now in about 48 hours we'll be getting our results. I just cant wait, the huge amount of time we have between knowing when we'll be getting our results and receiving them causes a lot of unnecessary anxiety and etc.

Im actually very worried about the results, Im very afraid that I would not be able to to live up to the expectations I have set for myself. I just hope that I have done well enough, if not I would be very sad. But I have faith in Him, and thats all I need to carry me through till friday.

But I must say ah... its really damn stupid to judge students this way, through just one bloody crucial exam. Like since its just once then obviously luck will play a big part in it isnt it? Like how are we going to tell if smartest kid wakes up with a headache and cant think properly for the paper, while the dumbest kid guesses all the hard questions right. Seriously, exams like the O and A levels are damn dumb ideas.

Ahhh I hate the rain, because of the rain i couldnt go out today. I had so many things to do lar! now I just have to put it off till tomorrow.

I cant wait for friday.

i tried not to make this emo

I was going to make this another post-mambo post. but changed my mind cause there really is nothing much to talk about. Its always the same anyways, getting high and loving every second then waking up the next day feeling like shit.

So I realized that recently all my blog updates have become like post-mambo posts. How sad, its like I not longer feel motivated to continue blogging. I dont even know what im doing with my own life anymore, I feel so empty, I hate this emptiness. That big part of my life that involved going to school and being happy is suddenly gone, all I have left are memories. And even playing gets boring after awhile.

I was also accidentaly enlightened by someone about an issue I had already known but refused to accept. Damn it I'm being vague again it must be really boring and hard to read this blog. Sorry, I guess like only 5 people will understand what I'm talking about lol.

Moving on to happier topics, Qing believes that he is allergic to martini's.
















yeah ok I know stop laughing now.
But really qing i dont think its the martini, its probably the thing glennchee offered you that night lol.
yeah qing's nuts even when he's not high, its pretty funny.




and since you're all laughing already let me end the post with the funniest thing you've ever heard. its an sms from zhihuan in reply to one of my dumb responses to one of his serious sms-es. here it goes "Life isn't about getting laid cos you have hands. Its about finding your soulmate" lol yep thats the original version i didnt edit anything and i swear its the funniest shit i ever heard him say lol lol.

2 days ago i woke up and it dawned on me, the sudden realization that it was indeed again the most screwed up day of the year. 14 of feb can really piss u off. in secondary school when there were no girls no one used to care about it and all was well we would just treat it like any other normal day and go play lan after school or something, but then i went to jc right and suddenly everyone's making a big deal out of it and buying/making all kinds of crap for everyone else and all the girls are holding flowers and looking happy (for the first and only time in the entire year lol lol).

so being un-weird people we celebrated it the normal way, by trying to ignore this disgusting element of western tradition that has pervasively invaded our traditional and beautiful asian culture (ok la im exaggerating for kicks lol lol). mmmmm so anyways we met aaron after his lunch date to shop for stuff and got owned by some over agressive/enthusiastic shop keeper at far east. ok no we werent actually shopping at far east we were shopping for proper clothes then we decided to go to far east to buy random t-shirts.

so somehow we ended up at zouk, xavier's "2 friends" turned out to be a group of 10 people. Met loads of ac people there, loads of old friends, was real fun and crazy. about 12 of us met at the coffeeshop opposite zouk to have a drink which was more like several shots of vodka cause manav brought an entire bottle of absolut. mmmmm got pretty high even before we entered zouk and really it got worst but was real fun lol lol. lost the big group somewhere around 3am and thought it was going to get boring but guess what? lol ran into jan. so we hung out with jan's gang for awhile and etc.... taught qing a few important lessons about trannies lol, qing has a lot to learn about the hidden mysteries of gaysingapore. mmmmm so altogether had like 3 shots of vodka, 1 mug of heineken, 1 vodka sprite, another mug of beer, a lychee martini and many sticks of something lol. yep it was pretty fun getting all fcuked up and messed cause we're like 18 what better age to do so right...

learnt like moves for a few mambo songs too but they're all pretty gay i guess u can only pull em off if you're high hehehe.

mmmmmmm it was a great night hope to do it sometime again soon like tonight hehehehe.

It feels like the best days of my life are over, like I left my youth behind in jc. Its like I'm just living life for the sake of it now, just to pass time till the 12th of april. That was how I felt like at the start of this week, I suppose listening to VERY emo songs like the saddest song by the ataris also contributed to my lack of enthusiasm towards life haha. Listening to emo songs suck ah, it makes the happiest people emo.

But it is very gay la, it seems to me that I'm no longer having as much fun in my life. Its also very hard to find motivation in my job, its quite depressing to repeatedly attempt (and fail) to teach teenage boys who are completely indifferent to the intensions of yourself and the rest of the staff. But I dont think thats the reason why I'm so sick of my life now la, I dont really give a shit about how the normal acad guys turn out, because I kinda already know how they're gonna turn out.

Anyways later in the week I got less emo cause I started listening to happy songs like bohemian like you by the dandy warhols. So I'm happier now even though I really miss school. No other experience in life will be as fun as school ever was, and I dont think uni can be the same.

Moving on to happier issues, I hit 400apm in a battle yesterday woohoo! I guess this means I wont need to waste 100 on a stupid razor mouse if my good ol mouse can still do the trick!! Of course what I'm look for also is QAPM not APM, so I should work on that also.


But who cares about warcraft la, its just a game to me now. I no longer aspire to win wcg and such hehehe.

I still think thats its very stupid that we're forced to become mature now that we're out of school and have to take responsibility over our lives and everything that we do.

Aiyah fcuk la, theres a lot of things I wanna say but cannot. Ok bye I'm going to shop for sheng's present now hahaha

then a mile of warm sea scented beach

shouldnt have drank the wine before we went to zouk last night. yeah, i was a bit high and met (according to gy) pudge. then around 2am i got real tired cause i cycled earlier in the day but stayed on the dance floor to accompany clemens since it was his last mambo :)

at least im not hungover today. but GOSH, i need to control my alcohol intake to prevent another solo mid with pudge!!

K now for photos. every time i go cycling and i end up in some nice park ill take photos of the scenery and such. i think u guys will be suprised that there are actually such beautiful landscapes in singapore now. so enjoy :)

EAST COAST PARK



ya i mean its nothing compared to like the maldives but this is good enough after a long hard day at work. i love cycling down the parkway, listening to the waves crashing against the shore.



LOWER PIERCE RESOVOIR PARK




i accidentaly ended up here haha, after i cycled to the end of bishan park. i was actually looking for MacRitchie resovoir and i found pierce, but it was still nice.



BEDOK RESOVOIR PARK (cycling is actually not allowed in this park i had to get my bike over some steps before i got in)

from ground level:

from the top of the hill:

i took awhile to climb this hill haha, but the descent later was really fun too! i kinda found out why bikes were prohibited, because this hill has awfully steep climbs leading to it. if you dont keep spinning your pedals while climbing you're gonna slide back down and fall off your bike.

i know these photos arent that great, they were taken with my phone camera. the photos really dont do justice to the truly magnificent views, especially the pierce resovoir one. maybe one day if some of you follow me on my lil cycling trips you can see it for yourselves :)


this last photo has nothing to do with my cycling trips. its the zouk dance floor before it gets full of wildly gyrating drunkards, cigarette butts, spilt vodka, vomit, pudges and wasted youths. im so proud of it cause i could capture the lighting with my phone cam, BET NONE OF YOU CAN DO THAT haha.

I just had my worst ever day in barker. I took 4e1 today, it was so horrible. Before the lesson, I told myself that I would take it upon myself to teach them how to be real acs boys, and how to live up to the standards set on them by generations of previous batches. Before the period started, 3 guys got into a fight. I was not there when the fight started. Violence doesnt solve any problems, but when your IQ is lower than your age, you kinda wont understand that.

It was the period after recess, and as usual 4e1 spent their recess playing soccer at the futsal court. Hence, many of them were had their shirts unbuttoned and their pants rolled up like bermudas, classic scene from gangster student movie huh? After repeated attempts at making a student correct his attire, I put his name down for DC. Apparently this was a source of discomfort for him and his gang. Heres where I made my mistake, I put down another guys name for DC for laughing in a disruptive and jeering manner. Presumably at how I had to resort to using DC to deal with them. He got angry, they started being really rude to me. I could have said a million f words, but I tried my best to control myself. Then I lost it, I called them a bunch of useless cockups. Again, they were really offended by this. Apparently they were bothered by the fact that this was the kind of opinion the rest of the school(and public) had of them. They got even more rude and I more pissed off. I decided that I could not handle this class, I called for help. Mr Lau had always told me before he gave me a normal acad or lousy express class to teach that I could call if I couldnt handle them. But Mr Lau was absent today, so I called Mr Glenn Wong who then called Mr Timothy Wong.

He came up and sorted it out. I spent a long time cooling off outside the class while he was with them inside, I hadnt been so angry ever before. It was real bad. Mr Wong was pretty professional in handling it though, all he did was sort out the initial mess. He allowed me to choose what I wanted to do myself. He didnt ask me to take ALL the guys names I put in the CMR off, he didnt ask me to apologise to them for calling them useless.

Gosh, it was so bad. My entire day is now spoilt. I mean like I deeply respect Mr Ng for everything he has done for the school, and I truly believe in his cause. That some of the boys from the school can really be saved. But sometimes, I just think that maybe, we shouldnt have a normal stream. These are the ones that have little respect for teachers, little regard for the things they learn in school, and a huge impact on the reputation that generations of previous ACS boys have built up (or has helped to enhance the notoriety that previous batches of barker boys similar to them have earned for themselves?)

I know that deep down, these guys are pretty nice, because I had a pretty good chat with them after the whole incident. 4D1 is another normal class that I teach all the time, and I have a pretty good relationship with them. Sometimes I even look forward to my lessons with them. I suppose Ill have to learn how to deal with these guys. I learnt a very important lesson about teaching these guys today. I hope that one day these boys will learn how to be proper ACS boys, and then they will be able to grow to be men of significance and stature in society today, like the many many generations of boys before us have. And then they will be ready to carry the school name well (But sadly, I doubt it).

I hope my bad day ends here. Im going to clarke quay to watch the singapore and malaysia match with some friends later, hopefully I can forget all this shit. Haha

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white;
Just our hands clasped so tight,
Waiting for the hint of a spark.
If heaven and hell both decide,
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the "no's" on their vacancy signs.
If there's no one beside you,
when your soul embarks;
then I'll follow you into the dark.



i love this song, its so meaningful. LOL WTF but its damn emo im so emo now why whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

love of mine

Im really tired. Barker only calls me at about 7am each morning, they give me about an hour to get to school. As I am still in bed when they call me, and I take about 20 minutes to get fully ready, you can understand that I end up taking cabs everyday. Its not that bad, only about $7 from my house to Barker, only that I have to cough up another $4 for calling the cab, $2 for peak hour surcharge and $1 for ERP. Thats $14 wasted, but sigh what can I do, they always call too late for me to take a bus through peak hour traffic. Considering I earn $65 a day, if you minus cpf and cab fare I only get about $40 back. Can I say a vulgarity now? Thanks. FUCK

Most of the kids in barker are ok, they respect me because I give them more freedom than a normal teacher would. But some kids are really damn cock up. SOME, really... Wish I could say more here but I'm a teacher now haha. Anyways I'm secretly hoping they dont call me tomorrow, I'm too tired. Been sleeping 2-4 hours a day for the last 3 days because if you know me well enough you'll know I only get to sleep around 3am. Shag to hell man. Shagged to hell.

I've been cycling daily for the last 2 days too. My legs and butt hurt like shit. Even the best, most comfy bike saddle KILLS la hahaha. But the GT agressor really is damn sexy to ride, the brakes are really responsive, and suspension is so good it even damps when I brake, the gears shift much faster than a normal bike, and it has killer looks. Woohoo.

But I've been pretty depressed lately. Things are not going well in my life.

Yeah I know it must be real boring to read this update cause its just whining and shit. Maybe I'll compose more fun stuff when I'm happy again.



But its nothing to cry about;
cause we'll hold each other soon.

ventures' night


good food, nice ambience.
generations of alumni,
loads of catching up,
tons of fun.

ok qing im sorry i had to post this pic of you looking so unglam and queer but its the only v. night photo i have since i just stole them from AT's friendster haha.

Haha I cant believe I deleted my first post of 2007, but I did. What a way to start the new year! Nevermind, that way, when I look back at the events of yesterday night, I'll be able to remember clearly and remind myself not to let it happen again.I did make my New Year's resolution last night though, it was one of the last things I remember doing before waking up at 430pm today, haha.

Since its New Year we should also remember the poem 'God Knows' by M. Louise Baskins that they print in almost every ACS school publication, where it is known as the Knight's Prayer:

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
"Give me a light,
that i may thread safely into the unknown."

And he replied:
"Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way."

In many ways this prayer is significant today, now that we are no longer schooling and are free to do anything we want. The future holds many possibilites and challenges, and only through God will we be able to tide through these periods.

Oh and look GY a paragraph in my pseudo first post of the year dedicated to you. GY is back in Singapore people!! Stay off BNet to avoid his trail of destruction. No la, I'm really pleased that he's back, he's like the glue that gets all of 2se1 on BNet to play DotA and stuff. BNet has been pretty boring without him online, I hardly play with the 2se1 people and its real boring winning every game with the sOz people. So its good that he's back and I'll start losing again. Cheers GY

And because I did not mass send SMSes wishing everyone a Happy New Year this time, a routine which i have followed fervently since like forever. I would like to wish you and your loved ones a splendid New Year, and I really hope this will be a GREAT YEAR for everybody I know.

LOVE YA'LL ALWAYS

We were having breakfast at the PS macdonalds after church yesterday when xavier came, on his bike, in his full cycling attire. Now imagine that, X wearing a skin tight black spandex full body suit... OK maybe you shouldn't imagine that. But anyways after awhile he just rode off back down orchard road again, saving our eyes from a truly horrible sight.

Then we decided to watch curse of the golden flower. Wah qing and ds are really some newbs at watching movies ah they dont know whats happening and how the plot is developing and etc ah. I think the movie was great, except for those fucking ah bengs who didnt bother to silence their phones resulting in their jay chou ringtones spoiling the movie. I counted more than 5 phones go off ringing throughout the movie, and the theatre was only half full. fuckers, they seriously should learn some etiquette to make up for their intelligience or whatever else of the million things they suck in.

Despite those distractions, I still managed to appreciate the Zhang Yi Mou film, he's such a great director la, like all his films are so wonderful. Actually, I more of enjoyed the grandeur of the film than the story. Like, the magnificence and splendor of the forbidden city and everything it beholds was displayed so well, like the palace guards, or even the hot servant girls (haha). No, actually my favourite part was how every hour some eunuchs will go around beating gongs and announcing some heavenly whatever in a poetic way. The acting was great too, I think many Chen Yu's were used, although I dont understand most of them. The use of such words gives the royal family a sophistication right, like how the queen of england always uses some kind of flowery language too.

AH who cares, just watch it. Im sorry I used some vulgarities just now, but I really was damn annoyed by behaviour of some assholes hah

Since prom has just ended, I should rightfully post prom pics. But it would be so weird to post the baccalaureate pics after the prom pics so ill just post the baccalaureate pics first. Actually, I forgot to bring my cam for prom so the prom pics i post will be stolen from other people anyways haha!

Some pictures wont have captions cause im lazy, and some are blurry cause I messed up ok its quite hard to take photos with my cybershot. So like, just chill and rewind to a time when we were still worrying about A levels




After 12 years, I still look up daily at the acs crest with pride.



Li Hao fires the first shot

GY and I in some dark corner

Xavier pretending to play golf for Singapore

Oh Wise Pastor Reverend Esteemed Pope

wtf why's this photo so dark which newb took it? (must be that fag gy)

2 years of afternoons spent on BNet with these people

DotA gang with madam and weizhi

Barker boys in 2se1

Math God

Chinese God

Chem tuition gang

All the girls in 2se1 in the 3 following photos







sec4 basketball everyday even during prelims yo!!!

students sketchpad

Another math god

Look closely at the piece of paper

I really respect this man

DUNKIN!



<3




K ITS OVER.
it took damn long to upload all these shit lar

i can finally blog normally now YES!!

i've really started uploading the pictures, but its a very boring and time consuming process, so its going to take awhile. thats because im too lazy to compress the pictures so they are all like 1MB and it takes about a minute for each to be uploaded to blogger and there are so many pics and i dont want to waste too much time on them and stuff.

it has been a long week, from pre-prom prep to prom to post-prom partying to the post-prom class chalet. the party at dxo was quite an eye opener o_O lol. when i speak of eye opener i mean it in every sense of the word. er, nevermind haha, only like 5 people will understand what im talking about.

4v4 AT-ing with chang, sheng and su every night from 2am till early is quite fun. we're getting pretty good at it so its quite thrilling. dota-ing with my classmates isnt as exciting, sadly. i hate losing. i ABHOR losing. but i understand, some people lack the sense or experience to know what to do at the most crucial of times in the most important of battles. but heck, dota is just a freaking game.

but there still are other problems in my life, other issues bothering me. i feel like im drifting away from god, i dont know why. ahhhhhhhhh life really sucks when you dont have one :(


Till next time, i promise ill update soon!

SO WHAT

The A levels are over. I dont really feel anything though. I dont know, after the O's I was so hugely relieved and excited about the end of the exams right, but for A levels it doesnt really feel all that great. Maybe its because I've been through it before, I really dont know. Anyways I guess I should analyze all the papers and maybe when I get my results I can come back to this post and go "YEAH, ok" ...

1. GP - Actually I'm secretly scared of something I might have forgotten to do in paper 1, because the question was "does technology ALWAYS improve the quality of people's lives" right, I'm not sure if I answered the qualifier, the ALWAYS part, or actually I think I forgot whether I did answer it. I hope I did lol. But anyways I kinda geared my essay in the direction of "its obviously not always" so yeah. Faith. Paper 2 was quite fun.

2. Math P1 - By cambridge standards the paper wasnt easy. I think its one of the hardest A level math papers set by cambridge ever. But who cares cause by AC internal exams standards its like free frag.

3. Chem P3 - Whoa I've been dreading this paper. God was particularly good to me that day, all the answers I guessed were tycolly correct and I only made 1 real mistake which I really regret in the entire paper.

4. Math P2 - NO KICK

5. Physics P1 and 2 - P1 was NO KICK, after all the prelim papers I did it was pretty free frag too. Only made 1 careless mistake which I regret. P2 was killer. Also this year I think we saw one of the hardest physics papers papers set by cambridge. I forsee many casualties in physics this year.

6. Chem P2 - NO KICK. tycolly guessed about 5 marks correctly again in this paper god's grace is truly amazing :)

7. Physics P3 - Utterly non- standard. I dont know whats up with all these people thinking they did well for physics p3. I mean I didnt think it was that bad too, until i saw Mr Khor. If Mr Khor looks troubled after the paper, all the physics students in Singapore better be worried. And chang was telling me about how ownage the paper was too. Too many of the main stayers in the Physics didnt even come out this year, like EMI and Quantum. To the astute student, those are often also the questions which give students their marks. Its such a pity, as a school we have worked so hard for physics, 2 mock exams and countless hours of Mr Khor screaming at us. Now I guess we just have to take comfort in the fact that the entire country screwed it up and pray hard for gosu moderation.

ONE DAY BREAK STONE IN SCHOOL AND DREAM ABOUT LIFE AFTER A LEVELS

8. Chem P1 - One tricky bitch it was. I havent really analyzed this paper but from outside exam hall chatter i made 2 careless mistakes so far :( but i believe it'll be ok cause god is damn GOSU.



Life after the A levels is pretty boring. After having so many things to do in 2 years, I kinda dread having nothing to do now. Its so weird to wake up in the morning and not have anything to rush. Ah well i guess when everyone else finishes their exams it will be more fun. We can go put the chang jie MAN U plan into action and etc.

In other news, I owned qing in pool yesterday. He is such a noob, all that mugging for A levels has made qing a noob and gay guy. But qing was always noob and gay la hahahahah

In other other news, GY has bought a Razor Krait mouse and a Razor Exactmat. We have yet to see how they have improved his game (lol)

In other other other news, while gargling my mouth with listerine this morning i accidentaly swallowed half a mouthful of it. It was damn hot and I think it mixed with my breakfast to own my stomach cause im still having a stomach ache now and i feel like vomitting argh PAIN PAIN.

Im also starting my caffeine detox program! After having 2-3 cups a day for 3 months I am now down to like 1 every 2 days. But I feel quite tired without coffee :( My right eye has also stopped twitching since the level of caffiene in my blood has dropped.

More updates soon! I just realized I still havent uploaded Baccalaureate pictures haha