sometimes i get emo and depressed and start thinking about freedom and a life free from the enslavement which i was subject to for the past 2 months. and when i think about how slowly these 2 months have passed, and that theres still 1 year and 8 months to go, i get like more depressed and thoughts of suicide flash through my mind and images of a bloody, violent death for my "captors" cloud my thoughts.

OK NO, dont get worried im not gonna kill myself i was purposely exaggerating it to make people scared. these 2 months have actually passed pretty quickly, before i know it it'll be christmas and then before i know it another christmas will pass and then ill see my pink ic again :D

i guess its always better to have a positive outlook no matter what you're going through. and if its really hard to have a positive attitude, just close your eyes and pretend its a dream. NS is just a dream, when we wake up in 2 years time we'll just forget about it and move on. We're actually so lucky that we're not regulars, for the regulars, NS is like a coma. They cant wake up. So pity them and dont hate them too much when they make you sign 3 extra, because they signed LIFETIME extra.

so thats they way i think of things now and i feel a little bit better. time for a run now and then coffee with friends later! only thing that sucks is im going to have to head home after coffee instead of going where we always go on wednesday night :(

but then again its all just a bad dream :))